INTERVIEW: LACEY SWAIN ON 9/21/06
I met the Swainster at the 2006 Pitchfork festival. If you went to that and bought the $5 curry wrap then you also realize that the world is FUCKED (as I do/did). Lacey is one HAP person, she even put her name in brackets before her answers. There's a picture of her at the bottom, but you can't date her because she already has a boyfriend who is called Ruben like the sandwich.
Do you have brothers or sisters? If so please list their names and ages.
[Lacey Swain] Kyle Blair, 19
Have you ever tasted urine?
[Lacey Swain] Yes.
What's your all-time favorite food combination?
[Lacey Swain] Cheese and crackers
Have you seen the movie Frida? If so, did you like it?
[Lacey Swain] I fell asleep, but I was high on drugs. I guess it was okay but that lady cant act her way out of a paper bag.
How do you feel about pornography?
[Lacey Swain] Ambivalent. I used to read my dads Hustlers (the letters section mostly) but I dont give a shit anymore. I think its maybe a little gross to have TOO much.
What's your favorite part of a zoo?
[Lacey Swain] Hippos and the hamburgers in the foil sacks.
What band is better, The Fall or The Wipers?
[Lacey Swain] Oh, Derek, this is a really good one. This is the modern day Beatles vs the Stones . Im going to go ahead and say the Fall, though. I like the Wipers, but Im thinking if I could only hear one forever .
If you were 40 minutes outside of Nacogdoches, Texas with a broken down car, with no cellphone or money would you rather be with Mark Arm or Krist Novoselic?
[Lacey Swain] You know whats crazy? This has totally happened to me before. Mark Arm.
Without looking on the internet, please list 5 songs written by Neil Diamond:
[Lacey Swain] Written? Is that the trick? Lets see Cracklin Rosie, Sweet Caroline, Im stuck.
How many hours a week, including work, do you spend looking at a computer screen?
[Lacey Swain] 45?
Have you ever seen a TV show called It's Your Move with Jason Bateman?
[Lacey Swain] No, but I wish. Is it funny?
Do you drive? If so, what kind of car do you have? If you can drive but don't have a car please skip this.
[Lacey Swain] I just wrecked my Mazda MPV minivan so right now I am borrowing two carsone is a 2000 something Acura and the other is a 61 Comet. I like to judge people by their cars and now I am only too aware of how much people judge me while I drive the Comet.
Name three things that one should eat with brie cheese. Please don't be clever or funny with this command.
[Lacey Swain] Bread, crackers, apples.
How are you doing today?
[Lacey Swain] Hmmm, okay. Not great. One month ago today I discovered my friends dead body and thats pretty much all Im thinking about except how Id maybe like some vicodin for my cramps.
What is the last thing that you've eaten?
[Lacey Swain] A Carrs Table Water Cracker.
What can you hear right now?
[Lacey Swain] The dude across from me is playing Darker My Love. I dont know what they are all about, though.
If possible call the telephone number 206-723-3113 and describe what happens:
[Lacey Swain] Okay, its ringing nothing, nothing, still ringing. Im getting bored of this now. When do I get to hang up? I want to get on to the next. OH! Wait! Someone answered and wanted to know if they could help me and I said I had the wrong number.
If possible call the telephone number 206-938-9795, ask for Gregg and tell him that Derek Erdman says, "WAAAASSSSSSUUUPPPP", you know, like on the commercial.
[Lacey Swain] Okay, I did it. He said you are a sweetheart.
When were you born?
[Lacey Swain] Houston, TX
Where were you born?
[Lacey Swain] Herman Hospital
Do you drink coffee?
[Lacey Swain] Yeah, but I dont HAVE to.
What is grunge?
[Lacey Swain] You know what? I just now realized that this was tailored specifically to me .
Did you see the movie Hype?
[Lacey Swain] Yes.
In the grand scheme of history, who's cooler: Long Gone John or Bruce Pavitt?
[Lacey Swain] Bruce Pavitt lives in a bio-dome and makes his own drugs you be the judge.
Please read the following word and type the first word that comes into your mind next to it:
BIRDS : [Lacey Swain] Joan
CAMERA : [Lacey Swain] Lens
GLASSES :[Lacey Swain] Wheres the case to my fucking glasses?
SHOES : [Lacey Swain] Boot
BIGOT : [Lacey Swain] Tony
MONKLES :[Lacey Swain] Monkees
ANKLES : [Lacey Swain] Cankle
YAPPLES : [Lacey Swain] Apples
WAMP : [Lacey Swain] Wump
ROTUM : [Lacey Swain] Bottom
LIPPER : [Lacey Swain] Puller
DWARF : [Lacey Swain] Horse
Is Seattle a good place to live?
[Lacey Swain] Its okay. I think I like Chicago and/or Mexico better.