The small compu-map at the front of the plane aisle said this was Siberia. I was pretty asleep most of the time, so it could be Iowa.

OOH, Fashion Walk! Hong Kong is kind of dull. Everybody speaks English and everything is expensive. There are vans and trucks and stuff, too.

Oh, look! Bike in Hong Kong! How interesting! I am so depressed now.

Sarie was convinced that this is a movie actor and that she was in Runaway Pistol. She thinks it's Barbara Wong Chun-Chun. OH MY GOD BEST NAME EVER.

Hong Kong walls n' stuff.

This is a picture of Fun's Bureau. It seemed like a magical secret place, but it's really just an overpriced re-sale shop.

Hey, Hong Kong has lights! Go there and spend yankee dollar! No mama, no papa, no whiskey soda!

My favorite building is in this picture. I lived there in my mind for an hour while we waited for the bus. I was married and had some kids and stuff and owned
a computer repair shop and I knew how to surf. I drove a late 80s Saab and smoked Gitanes.

It it ok, at times, for children to pee in public in Hong Kong. I saw this a lot more than I saw people spitting on the mainland. People don't really do that.

Man, I don't know what this is. It's like a food vendor or sumph.

God, clothes hanging and windows! I really had to pee when I took this picture. I'm just sayin'.

This girl is taking a picture of some food. The guy next to her letched around the area for 3 hours and creeped Sarie out.

THIS IS NOT FOOD, YOU ARE RACIST.

Ok, we are safe again. This is food. HE IS GETTING IT! IT IS FOR US TO EAT! HAPPY NEW YEAR, PIG!

Do you see those clothes hanging outside of those windows? Well, if you can get them, you can have them for free.

I think this is Zhangjiang, China. These kids were really excited and eventually mobbed me and TOOK my camera. I gave them nickels and they left.

I really like the broken bottle security system, they have it in Haiti too.

Hey, this tree has a security system too! And it works, because it's still there!

Chinese girl & water buffalo is like, the best thing I've ever seen. I just gave myself the Pulitzer Prize for this photo.

In the fields in China on a bike ride with Sarie is where I'd very much like to spend infinity.

Pro-education communist propaganda. Wait, learning is good!

The sugarcane factory made wonderful smelling pollution and sugar.

This is Edison. He can very much speak English good and has great plans for "the women".

Things on a table.

Oh, HELLO BUBBLES! You say that you have an open sore on your body? Let me pet you and then stick my fingers in my mouth!

Uh-oh, Bubbles has eaten the 3+2 cookie! There's big trouble!

Look, Sarie is taking the 3+2 cookie out of Bubbles' mouth! Dessert is saved! Do you know there isn't a 3+2 cookie website? Should I start one?

This girl is talking to this guy on the phone. She is so sad he is leaving her on the bus. He is asleep and doesn't care.

This is the great Sinopec River. It's 70% petrol and 60% petroleum by-products. In China there is 130%.

Have you ever seen the movie Star Wars? Well, this is Star Wars and Star Trek and Scientology and that big airliner that brought them all here.

This was the scene before the BIG Zhangjiang moped race. The winner was awarded the opportunity to live! How's that for fair?

When it's your birthday in China you get to have a party on the back of a truck with all of your friends. It goes to Chuck E. Cheese(s).

No vehicles on the road here ever stop, including bikes. I didn't see accidents. It was like magical real-life Frogger.

This is my good friend Yucca. He was catching up to me to give me my passport that I had left at a Fotomat. I am glad to know him.

This is the Karl Marx Pizzaria. You have to make the pizza yourself and then some guy in a suit swoops in and confiscates half, but then you eat it and it
tastes good but you are still a little hungry when you are done. Then you do the dishes.

This is the view from a wonderful hotel room in which I had the first night of the rest of my life.

This is not the 5 star hotel, this is the 3 star hotel. They will be building the 5 star hotel later, I have a business deal with some people that is worth
5 million to 4 thousand dollars.

That is Cindy-Isabella. She is Chinese and said that I was "half way between a man and a woman" and that it was a compliment. GUYS, THAT GIRL
IS SINGLE AND IS DYING TO COME TO THE USA. Please have a lot of money when inquiring, thanks.

Well, well, well. If it isn't the old flat-meat store. You like flat animals to eat? Bon Appetite, Fatkins!


Some meat & yolks, they're good!

Sarie coveted this shirt. A lady is pointing at the stone dog. She is staying, YOU GUYS HAVE TO LEAVE OUR VILLAGE!

Here is another stone dog. People often steal these stone dogs and then you buy them at World Market and Pier 1 Imports. YOU ARE A JERK.

You see, if you have more than one child, you drink and smoke and the kids are naked and pee wherever they want.

This guy was very excited to show us this device he invented called "the wagon".

2008 Olympic Space Camp. In another world this boy is a king with magical powers that allow him to read minds and levitate. Unfortunately here he
is only able to make VERY HIGH PITCHED SQUEALING NOISES like a helium elephant.

Milk & meat.

Stone dog #3 and a lurking child. She kept saying, "come see the garbage!"

Oh, wonderful old destroyed palace owned by a landlord who had to move to Taiwan. Memory net did not capture all of the story, I am sorry.

Hey, it's the garbage! Everybody kept pointing me to this. I really think they wanted to throw me into it. OH, SO FUNNY THE OVER-GROWN AMERICAN
CHILD IN THE CHINESE GARBAGE WATER.

Oh, I loved this dam. The characters say something like, "LISTEN, GET BACK TO WORK AND LIKE IT UNTIL YOU DIE".
I ate an orange and a pear near here.

Same dam, other side. This side says, "I'm really sorry for yelling at you about working so hard on the other side of the dam."

Chinese FEMA bridge.

Houses made of twigs & berries.

These children were very happy to meet us. They said, did you bring the Triscuits? I did! We ate them!

Sarie grabbed the box of Triscuits and made off, there was a great chase! In the end, EVERYBODY WON!

When Barbara talks, everybody listens. And for good reason.

I taught this guy the words to I'm Not A Gentleman by Geto Boys. This was a good idea. That song is mean!

This is how I felt after I left Sarie and the mainland. Oh, I shouldn't say that, I think people actually died here.

That is a meating in the crowd.

Back in Hong Kong for internet cafe use. I took a 3 hour shower.

Oh, George is so great! She has a street! A Great George Street!

There are pig knuckles for sale in this box. They are peppered.

I very much liked this grocery store and their Western Bread.

This is what $25 at the Wang Fat Hostel will get you. It is a fair price.

I went to Burger King to get 1 cheeseburger. I was enticed by the Spicy Whopper, which has mayonaisse and a curry/BBQ sauce. I got fries too, OH
STOMACH ACHE, SO SICK!

Oh, time to go home. So sad.


I took some Ambien and then they brought this food. I really don't remember it. When I got home it was VERY SNOWY. I immediately bought a Coca-Cola.

VIVA USA! CHINA #2! I will get married and move there.