This email started with 3 minutes of internet perfection.

Are you a whitebread 30-something American?
Ever play Rad Racer and Skee-ball for 4 hours to amass just enough paper
tickets to cash-in for a fucking plastic pencil topper?

It recently came to my attention that there exists an absolutely MASSIVE
underground fanbase for the now-defunct Showbiz Pizza animatronic band,
also known as the Rock-Afire Explosion, also known as the creepiest human
creation ever birthed. The band consisted of all animal members except for
a brief stint by everyone's favorite nightmare, Uncle Klunk.
HOLY SHIT I NEED TO TAKE A SHOWER. Is he SUPPOSED to be a corpse?

I say 'underground' fanbase because these people are largely fucking losers,
some of whom will soon be publicly embarrassed in an upcoming documentary.

Some middle-aged men have breakdowns and buy penis cars; some have break
downs and spend small fortunes to amass a shitty robot animal band in their
garage. Original working robots go for SERIOUS CASH MONEY nowadays,
otherwise "parts" abound.

VINTAGE MAGIC
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Z3VMQoeYAcQ&feature=related
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oTfNSiHBbMQ&feature=related

VS.

MODERN MAGIC
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ur8AwQHusZw
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QBhuBrWlmeA&feature=related

Who wins? NOONE. EVERYONE LOSES.