I read very few things on the internet on a regular basis. Blogs that aren't about food or shoes hardly ever make the cut except
for Jodi Bullock's DELICATE CONDITION. Jodi is a friend of an old friend and a person that I have never met, though I find
her writing excitingly optimistic. It was from her that I first learned about the troubled goon that is Kari Ferrell.

If you don't know, Kari is a sociopathic twenty-something from SLC, Utah. Did you ever see the movie SLC Punk? Kari is a
whole lot like that movie, B-A-D, bad. But we're not talking about bad "good". We're talking about BAD TO THE BONE; like
Georgie Thorogood coming to a party at your house when you're 14 and your parents are out of town and all of your mother's
jewelry gets stolen and then they get home and they're like: HOLY SHIT and you're like, "sorry 'bout that".

As soon as I read about Kari I became fascinated. At the same time I was consciously confused about my fascination. Why
was I minding the B's of a person 15 years my junior who wrote bad checks and told people she had a whole lotta cancer?
While researching her I eventually came across her email address and wrote to it on a whim:

"Kari,

Don't sweat these people, they're all ding dongs. Good luck out there!

Derek"

I'm described by The Observer as "a well-wisher", and HOLY S, she wrote back:

"Derek,

Hello. I really appreciate the message that you sent. Surprisingly enough, all of the emails that I have received have
been in the same vein. Makes me feel SLIGHTLY less of a terrible human being.

Yes, I made mistakes and yes, I hurt people who cared for me (and vice versa). However, I have made amends with
most of those individuals, and have attempted to rectify my poor decisions by paying them back. I know that it is neither
here nor there, but what the article didn't mention is that I haven't done anything of that nature for years. I understand
that that, in no way, justifies what I did...but I definitely recognize that what I did was really REALLY shitty, and like to
think that I have learned from my mistakes.

Anyway, I didn't mean to barrage you with my...whatever the fuck those preceeding paragraphs are...my sincere apologies.

Thank you, again, for your kind words.

Without Wax,
Kari"

OH DRAG, I was to later find out that my personal response was 80% canned.

But indeed it was around this time that things got fuzzy. You see, I told The Pooks that I wrote to this person and she was very much like:
YOU DON'T WRITE TO THE HANDJOB WITH THE MOUTH PERSON and then she was mad at me and I had been awake for 36 hours and
tried to explain that my fascination could somehow be explained by my having babysitters as a child but The Pooks wasn't buying it. Because
The Pooks is no dummy.

While people are searching high and low for this person because they are mad at her for stealing phones and money, I hope she can find a place where
she can be happy because she's muxed in the head right now. Muxed in the head in a land of bagels and networking and folded pizza. NYC is dumb but the real life
soap opera of a tattooed wonk that can wreck endless havoc is better than 18 hours of The Wire because I don't have cable. That shit is expensive!

KARI FERRELL HIPSTER GRIFTER LINKS:

Original Oberver article
Gawker follow-up
SLC Most Wanted video clip
NYC Party video footage

LIFE SOMETIMES = OUCH.