FREE ITEM #1 (UNLIMITED TIME):
For every resident of Chicago IL, a drawing of Oprah Winfrey
as a child, with her signature forged
.

When I lived in Seattle (what a nightmare that was), I
offered every legal resident a drawing of Carol Channing.
The response was pretty good and well over 900 drawings
were mailed out. That's .0013 of the population.

As a gift, I'd like to mail you a free drawing of
Oprah Winfrey as a child, with her signature forged
.
Simply send an email with the subject: "FREE DRAWING
OF OPRAH" to derekerdman@gmail.com. Please include
your mailing address within the city limits of Chicago.

FREE ITEM #2 (UNLIMITED TIME):
My business card, mailed to you.

I purchased waaaay too many business cards.
Email your mailing address to derekerdman@gmail.com
and I'll send one or five in the mail to you.