OH LOOK, WE'RE SO MAD! You're so mean Derek Erdman!
I personally invite any of you message board goons to, ahem, suck it.

The Diane Files was put together in the early 1990s in Kent, Ohio. It was actually called 'From The Reverse Diane Files', in response to John Piche's original 'Diane Files'. He placed an ad in Maximum Rock & Roll claiming to be a female vampire (or something similar) and printed the responses of the doltish 'alternative' guys that wrote in. There were some really great letters. I was working at Kinko's at the time and had a habit of climbing into the dumpster every night to retrieve discarded magazines that the News & Photo Shop would throw out. They would simply tear off the covers and I'd get the rest!

There was one magazine in particular that I loved called 'Outlaw Biker'. It was super dirty with lots of topless biker ladies on motorcycles. They would print ads for prisoners so readers could write to them. They referred to themselves as 'a downed bro' or a 'lonely peckerwood' - boy this biker/prisoner lingo sure was nifty!

I decided with all of my resources at Kinko's to write a letter disguised as a girl looking for some 'biker action'. I don't remember the exact wording of the letter, but it was a brief introduction of myself (a petite and attractive blond, or course) with the simple question of what the biker prisoners would do to me when they got out of the joint. I photocopied about 60 of these letters, sprayed them with Calvin Klein's Obsession and sent them off to the prisoners. The responses started coming in a week later and didn't stop for close to a year.

There was an edition of The Diane Files with the prisoner names & addresses intact. I got a few letters (from prankster friends) claiming to be prisoners hip to what I was doing and threatening to rip me limb from limb. The second edition was void of the addresses and names. The third edition was cut into two books to make binding easier. I easily unloaded 500 copies of each edition and still have 6 or so left.

Efforts are being made to clean up the original copies and get them printed as a paperback book. Until then, I've posted a selection of pages on this site. These were not chosen for any reason other than order, If you would like more information, drop me a message.

These letters are a bit explicit. Please be aware of that.