INTERVIEW: Lindsey Akin On Thursday June 24th

Lindsey Akin ordered some CDs from me. We chatted once, she's kinda mean.

derekerdmander: So, Lindsey...
derekerdmander: do you have a car?
lindseyakin: I do
derekerdmander: Do you know Mike Gibson?
lindseyakin: no
lindseyakin: you're just lashing out because I'm taller than you
derekerdmander: I'm 5'11"!
lindseyakin: sure you are big guy
lindseyakin: hey, "who's the boss is on"!
derekerdmander: Tell me about how much you like Modest Mouse.
lindseyakin: you do know mike gibson!
derekerdmander: What's the best movie Angelina Jolie's been in?
lindseyakin: anyways, tell me how much you like crass
lindseyakin: klute
derekerdmander: Oh course I do, Of course I do!
derekerdmander: Cheese: turkey or cheddar?
lindseyakin: I know someone who doesn't like chicken, but loves turkey
derekerdmander: WHAT IS MATH?
lindseyakin: math is modest mouse
derekerdmander: HOW LONG IS FOREVER?
lindseyakin: thursdayish
derekerdmander: What's an anagram?
lindseyakin: um, the same word spelled forward as it is backwards?
derekerdmander: Please name a Golden Girl.
lindseyakin: blanche
derekerdmander: Why is Darkthrone the best band in the world?
lindseyakin: do they have a clarinet player? I used to play clarinet
derekerdmander: Please rate the following sentences on a scale of 1-10:
derekerdmander: "Dude, I was all like...fuck."
lindseyakin: 9.2, for emotion
derekerdmander: "A creepy predator? That's Derek Erdman."
lindseyakin: 7.3
derekerdmander: "I believe I'll have another sandwich."
lindseyakin: 10 fattie
derekerdmander: When punk "broke" you were about 9 years old, correct?
lindseyakin: not so much, I was 9 in let's say...1990
lindseyakin: there's a lot of math questions
derekerdmander: Ok, please relay memorable 'happenings' from today by hour, such as, what was going on at 8am?
lindseyakin: I was sleeping on the couch, with my dog. she's a whippet.
derekerdmander: 9am?
lindseyakin: peeing I in the only activity
lindseyakin: for the entire hour
derekerdmander: 11am?
lindseyakin: ate some blueberries. the quality of blueberries was really inconsistent, like within the same container
derekerdmander: 12pm?

lindseyakin: I remember being very frustrated, and feeling as though I was gambling
derekerdmander: 2pm?
lindseyakin: the gambling thing was in regards to the blueberries
derekerdmander: 6pm?
lindseyakin: back to sleep, avoided phone calls
derekerdmander: 8pm?
lindseyakin: 8pm...8pm...did I talk to you? I'm fairly certain I'm just making things up now
derekerdmander: 10pm?
lindseyakin: oh I watched "The Daily Show". don't print that.
lindseyakin: how embarrassing
derekerdmander: What do you like on pizza?
lindseyakin: mushrooms and spinach
derekerdmander: do you fancy yourself sarcastic?
lindseyakin: I would hope not.
derekerdmander: Are you an Aries?
lindseyakin: no
lindseyakin: are you?
derekerdmander: How come astrology is so awesome?
lindseyakin: is awesome if you get a kickass symbol. like a ram.
lindseyakin: I'm a cancer
derekerdmander: Aren't donuts really good?
lindseyakin: do you think they're better than donut holes?
derekerdmander: Was the home that you came from broken?
lindseyakin: it burnt down when I was 10. 1991? our dog maxwell died in the fire. thanks for bring it up asshole.
lindseyakin: bringing
derekerdmander: you seem to have a lot of 'dog history'.
derekerdmander: how many dogs have you had?
derekerdmander: you're dog-crazy!
lindseyakin: I've got the fever!
lindseyakin: they come and go, the cats tend to stick around
derekerdmander: you can say that again,
derekerdmander: I'm trying to off mine as we speak.
lindseyakin: although my mom killed two of our cats in a dryer, on seperate occassions!
derekerdmander: did you continue to wear the close that were in there as well?
derekerdmander: clothes,
derekerdmander: sorry.

lindseyakin: I made a sweater out of the fur that had collected in the lint trap
lindseyakin: well mostly it was just lint, but you knew there was some fur in there too
derekerdmander: What's "Akin Gump"?
lindseyakin: that's when your gump aches. as in, "don't touch my akin' gump".
derekerdmander: Are you going to call me on the telephone?
derekerdmander: You can listen to me brush my teeth!

lindseyakin: do you foam a lot?
derekerdmander: foam & bleed.
lindseyakin: I'm always insecure when I see people on TV brush their teeth so neatly
derekerdmander: i dated a girl that was a tidy brusher,
derekerdmander: she used to make fun of me, i'm a mess when brushing.
derekerdmander: down my chin, on my shirt.

lindseyakin: she propbaby wrapped her lips around the brush
lindseyakin: which is gross
lindseyakin: and I suspect these people are rather dry brushers
lindseyakin: I like a good lather
derekerdmander: thanks for the interview, Lindsey. You're a real 'trooper' and a 'card'!