LETTER 1:

To my dear friends and family,
   I cannot tell you how much I appreciate all your prayers. Many of
you who have known me most of my life have also been regular prayer
warriors on my behalf and I can tell you confidently that those
prayers have been heard and met…well, perhaps some of them are still
in the works…I am after all a mess of clay continually being shaped by
The Artist. Currently I am writing to you from the plane. I am flying
out of Russia, officially brining my studies here to an end. The past
few months have been hard, wonderful, challenging, sometimes very cold
J and all in all more than I ever expected. I suppose I should stop
having expectations God always out does them.
   I am only now beginning to see much of what the Lord has been doing
in me over the past few months and the time leading up to it. I have
often felt confused and frustrated about my studies, not really
knowing why I am studying Russian history and wondering what on earth
I am going to now do with it. The truth is that I don't know and it is
largely because I can't see the full picture. The Lord gives me pieces
and helps me to connect those He has given over my few years of life
to have a better idea of what shape the canvas is taking on, but I
don't see the whole thing as He does. I am not the Artist and I don't
know all of the strokes that will come. I am not going to try and
share all or even a small part of what the Lord has been  revealing to
me through out this last month because I don't want to jump the gun
and say a bunch of stuff that hasn't become clear to me yet. It is a
work in progress and I promise to share what He gives when I have
received it all.
   In some ways it seems like a very long time ago when I wrote to you
about the Lord confronting my attitude, which was affecting my life in
Russia. I praise Him for all that He has done in me since then. I
don't have words to fit all of it into because there isn't any way to
say what the Lord has been doing, but I am different. Slowly, my mind
is being transformed and my vision corrected in His patience and
grace. I know I have said this before and I am sure many of you have
heard me say it more than a few times; it absolutely amazes me how
patient He is with me…with us. He is so merciful…the more honest I am
with myself about my behavior the more I know that I deserve to die
and not only to die but to be crucified.
   I read an excellent book recently, The Kite Runner I won't take up
time and space to give you an overview…I do recommend the book to all
of you though. One of the things that impressed me about the book is
how honest the main character is. I will not claim to be very well
read, but I can say with certainty that I have never read a book like
this where I felt like I was learning all about the person…from the
inside out. What does that have to do with me being in Russia or being
crucified? As I read this fictional story amazed with every page, I
was thinking a lot about myself and about all of the things that I
don't say aloud but think in my heart and mind. All of the ugliness
that has been there and has left traces that  sometimes surface in my
attitudes and the filth that remains are absolutely repulsive. I am
not speaking in a comparative sense that humanity judges everything
on, I am speaking of how my heart and my mind affect the Lord, my
relationship with Him and with other people. It is disgusting. I don't
deserve to live…I don't even deserve to die; I do deserve to suffer
because every time I criticize someone in my own pride it is an
affront to the Lord. I have not been made any better than any other
person and what rights have I to put myself above them in any way
shape or form? Of course I know this, but each time I am faced with my
sinfulness it makes me sick and I am all the more humbled by and
grateful for Christ Jesus Enduring Love. That is what it is…not just
unfathomable or incomparable…When He died for us He took all of our
sins that had been that were and that would be. And I have
forgiveness every time I slap Him in the face-so to speak-with my
sin…not because I should but because His love endures, His promise
never will fail and He never will fall.
   I have been learning this in many different ways over the past many
months…it isn't a new lesson, He just brings me to new levels each
time. I have too much to learn. It is a good thing I have an awesome
community to learn with!
   For all the complaining I have done, largely in the form of
criticism throughout my time in Russia and for all the periods of hate
that I went through (I use this word because there were times that I
defiantly did not loving the country…people and all and the lack of
love was just that) in which I caused our Lord a great deal of pain, I
can joyfully proclaim that I do love Russia and Russians! J The spring
has been healing. I can't say that  I have experienced such an extreme
emotional depression related to weather before in my life. In Russia
you don't really notice until the temperature begins to reach 0C that
you have been cold, encased in darkness and misery for 6 months. My
life changed with the weather this spring. I had two…the first spring
was in Bishkek, Kyrgyzstan where I was reawakened by the spring
weather there, Shuhrat, and the Lord's blessings on Shuhrat and my
relationship as well as the friends that I made while I was there.
When I returned to Petersburg…it was a little longer in coming, but I
experienced a second spring in which the Lord confronted my attitude
and brought healing and renewal to me in time for life to stir in that
city. One of the sources of life that the Lord fed me each day was the
tree that stands outside the kitchen window in Vladimir's apartment
(where I have been living this semester).  I would wake up between 530
and 6am each morning go to the kitchen to make coffee, and sit and
look out the window for a few minutes. For a while there was nothing
but the bare branches. With time the tiny red buds appeared and
gradually they fell off and were replaces but itsy bitsy green buds
that opened a little but more each day. I watched it come to life and
the Lord was doing the same in me. I love Saint Petersburg and I love
Russia. I am grateful for this past month and a half. Had I come home
in mid march as I did when I returned from Ukraine, I think my
attitude would be similar to what it had been at that time…not good.
The winters are long and cold and dark-very dark. On the opposite
extreme, we seemed to have skipped spring in some ways and hit summer
directly. The 4 hours of daylight all of a sudden turned into 5 hours
on darkness only and the labor of birthing the white  nights began.
What a difference light makes! More energy, more joy, more color, more
life! Thank you Jesus!
    I have always love the changing of the seasons, each period of
change has brought me some joy all my life, but never ever in my life
have I appreciated the sun and the spring so much as I have this year
and I am happy to have experienced the intense cold and long drawn out
winter that has made me appreciate it all the more. I love life, I
love the Lord and I love all of you. I wish that there were some way
that I could communicate my whole heart to you. One day all my life
will be shared with you completely, when I am complete for ever with
my God and King in perfect fellowship with my family, than all He has
made me to be, all I am in Him and all He has done in and through me
will be known fully by all who share in fellowship with Him and then
you will know my heart truly.
    As I am sitting and typing this (now in Heathrow airport) I am
beginning to cry. I love you all, but I don't even know how to love
how He loves me. I am so selfish and so self-centered too often. I
want to love you more. I want to love and love like Him. I want to
Know Him more intimately and learn His love purely, perfectly and give
it away too.  This is my prayer for me and for you.
  Please call me or write to me or pull me aside when you see me and
ask me questions. I will try and share with you a piece of my heart
and more of what He has given to me and use words if I need to. Please
continue to pray for me. I don't really know what comes next. I am
finishing up school this summer and fall and am scheduled to graduate
in December. Hopefully, God willing I will go to Brazil in January to
meet up with Shuhrat, meet his leaders (the director of the NGO he is
working with) and learn how I can help and be a part of their work in
Afghanistan. Pray for a strong end to my university career and for
direction. Pray for endurance and hope and joy in learning and in the
journey. Pray for Wisdom for me and for Shuhrat. We have  a lot to
work out and it isn't going to be easy to do while we are apart. Pray
for our relationship as well…it is certainly harder to be apart now
than it was before.
   I can't wait to see you…find me; I have hugs for you all!
Blessings. GABBY APPLETON
  " But one who looks intently at the perfect law, the law of liberty,
and abides by it, not having become a forgetful hearer but an
effectual doer, this man shall be blessed in what he does." James 1:25
NASV
        God Bless you today!
            Gabby Appleton



LETTER TWO:

Hello again my dear friends and family.
   It is so good to be able to write to you and share what the Lord
has been doing in my life. Thank you once again for your prayers and
encouragement. Thank you for your support and for your love for me.
   I am coming to the end of my program. My last class is on the 11th
of May and our final meeting is on the 12th. I have four more weeks of
classes, finals, and then I'll be home. My time here in Russia has
been full of lessons. Many of them were hard and most of them brought
with them a level of humility that I will admit was uncomfortable.
Most recently the Lord brought me face to face with a repulsive
attitude that has been residing in me for a long time. While I was in
Bishkek Shuhrat asked me if I hated Russians…I thought, "what a silly
thing to ask me, of course I don't hate Russians."  I believe my
verbal response to him was something similar. I asked him why he would
ask me such a thing and he told me that often the way that I  talk
about the things I don't like in Russia and complain or passionately
express what I see as problems sounds like I really don't love the
country or the people.  Well, I was really shocked…but thought about
what he said for some time after our conversation. When I got back to
Saint Petersburg I was praying about the conversation Shuhrat and I
had had about my attitude and the Lord convicted me. I, being American
and from a very free and privileged country, have looked at Russia
very arrogantly. I have wrongly compared Russia with America as if,
given our histories, that were something even remotely realistic.  I
have been very proud of the good qualities in America and haven't been
as willing to criticize my own nation and defiantly haven't been as
outspoken with my criticisms as I have been with  those of Russia.  .
I have not had grace in my observations, I have been harsh. And as a
result, I have missed out on so much that I could have learned.
    Due to my pride, I haven't opened my mouth to speak Russian even a
fraction of the amount I should have over the past several months.
Perhaps there were other people that I could have met and shared life
with. Perhaps I could have learned to prepare traditional Russian
meals…not because I love Russian food, because I honestly don't, but
because it would be a way to show my hostess last semester that I was
interested in her life…in her way of living and in what she knows and
has learned. I haven't really experienced the richness of Russian
hospitality, or the culture in the Russian family. Not all of these
things could have been possible, the point, however, is that my
attitude was not right. It wasn't an attitude exclusive toward Russia,
it was a condition of my heart and my mind and it was  rotten and
stinking. It had the potential for damaging future relationships and
work in any number of countries of the world.
    I am ashamed of myself for this and I am eternally grateful to our
Lord for using Shuhrat to call me on this. I didn't see my criticisms
as sounding like I hated Russia because I don't hate Russia and I
don't hate Russians, I love both. But from the perspective of one who
has lived most of his life in this part of the world, not in
America…the pride with which I riddled my dislikes etc. sounded very
different.  I am humbled and I am thankful. My hearts desire is to
love the Lord's people, to serve them, to share Christ with them, and
to be willing to learn from others. My job isn't to go into another
place and tell them what I see as wrong or inefficient and try and
change them…my job to meet people where they are, to love them no
matter who they are  or what their history may be, and to open up my
life to them and learn from them as they learn from me. Pride hinders
real love because there isn't any hierarchy in the Lord's love and
pride says that I am better than you for this or that reason and
somehow I am worth more. Wither or not we actually think this way-most
of us don't it is far more convincing with in our minds-the attitude
that prevails devastates potential relationships and our own ability
to serve and to love truly and completely.
   I have been very wrong. And I am confessing this to you because you
need to know, not only that I have sinned in this way, but that our
Righteous Lord has convicted me and has changed my heart. Now, I am
asking that as you continue to pray for me that you also hold me
accountable with my attitude. Where ever I am, where ever I go, I want
to serve and to love God's people. I don't want anyone to feel
resistance because of my attitude. I want to learn from people and not
just think about what I can give them or teach them. I want to share
my life with people and really be a part of theirs. I want to receive
what the Lord desires to give to me and show me through the lives of
His people all over the world…and I really struggle with pride which
always gets in the way. It is far too easy for us to look  at
ourselves. Please hold me to account in this. His work is what I am
called to, not my own work. His love for people is what I need to
receive and give, not my own. I need your prayers as always.
    Despite my issues…the Lord has been at work in and through me.
Praise Him! He continues to open up doors for me to speak His words,
His truth to the people in my program, my roommates, and to give His
love to them every day. I am not at liberty to share any of what my
dear friend Erin and I have talked about, but I want you to know that
the Lord is really working in her. She is struggling so much with what
is right, what is true, how to believe that she is valuable and loved
without adding God into the mix…but He is working and I ask that you
keep her in prayer. Please also continue to pray for Caitlyn. She is
wonderful and we have had many conversations about the Lord. She asks
me a lot of questions about what I believe with relation to specific
things that she and I do not share stance on.  God has blesses
innumerable conversations in this way. Please keep both of them in
prayer as they both need Him so much.
   I have also had the opportunity to speak into the lives of many my
classmates from last semester who have stayed here with me. He is
truly at work. Hallelujah. He never stops working…it's a good thing
too!
   Please keep me and my studies in your prayers as I finish out this
semester. When I return I will have one semester to complete…and if
all goes according to plan, I will be graduating in December. I'd like
to ask for your prayers in finding a job and car when I get home. I
will be moving back to Mom and Dad's house for the time being and need
to get work and transportation of some kind. I also ask for your
prayers for school…I need to take at least one course this summer, but
I can't register unless I have money at the time of registration to
pay for the classes…this is just the way that summer courses work I
guess. I defiantly need to take one course, Stalin and Stalinism, for
my major. The course is 5 weeks beginning in July, so if I get a job
soon after returning home, I may be able to pay for  the course from
my earnings. This requires me to have a job. The other courses that I
could take would be at the beginning of the summer from June through
July…I wouldn't be able to earn enough to pay for those. So, please
pray for wisdom and direction, peace and diligence in my studies.
    Thank you for loving me and allowing me to be real and honest with
you. May our Gracious and Merciful and ever loving God and Father
bless you with all His beauty in His love and righteousness. May your
hearts be pure and your desires be for Him and His people. May you
learn of His love more and more each day as you seek His face and live
in His presence. God bless you for His name sake.
   Your sister,
 GABBY APPLETON
  Post Script: Please pray for me as I have not been able to sleep for
three nights. I think I may have had a total of 5 hours and even that
was disrupted. I don't know what the problem is, but it is difficult
to get up each morning after not having slept.
  P.P.S. I thought that the weather was getting better…I suppose that
is still is slowly. We had a beautiful day of 14C weather and then it
snowed. The weather here is far more temperamental than in New
England!
  " But one who looks intently at the perfect law, the law of liberty,
and abides by it, not having become a forgetful hearer but an
effectual doer, this man shall be blessed in what he does." James 1:25
NASV
        God Bless you today!
            Gabby Appleton

LETTER 3:

Hello my dear friends and family!
    I apologize for the extreme length of absence in emails from the
last one I sent. As you know I left Russia on the 7th of March headed
for Bishkek, Kyrgyzstan. My original plan was to be there until the
18th which was then changed to the 25th. I again apologize for not
letting you all know this change especially as I told you I would let
you know of any changes. I flew from Bishkek to Moscow on the morning
of the 25th and took a train back to Petersburg that afternoon. So I
arrived at my apartment last night at 1030pm after a very long day of
travel.
    I want to thank you all for your prayers and for your support of
me and Shuhrat. Two years is a long time to not see someone you care
so much about and the Lord defiantly blessed us in the time we had
together in Bishkek. Oh…there is so much I could tell…what is
important is that Shuhrat and I now know that we are going to be
married. The answers to the questions when where and how are yet to be
found because there are many complicated factors involved. Being able
to be together and talk together in person has been so helpful. We
were able to talk through things that we couldn't talk through on the
phone or email or by letter. We had some really difficult
conversations about things that are important and could cause problems
in the future. Jim and Melissa did meet with us and pray with us. One
of the things that Shuhrat and I did with them was to take the Myers
Briggs personality test and then read through each other's personality
descriptions. This was lots of fun…both Shuhrat and I had taken the
test before but never together and we had never compared
personalities. This allowed us to talk through the ways that we
process things and how we tend to think and what is most important to
us etc. etc. etc. we could have spent more time on that but there were
lots of other things to do. We read His Need, Her needs together while
I was there as well. This is an awesome book that talks about the
different needs that men and women have in marriage and how
understanding the needs of a man and the needs of a woman is crucial
to having a healthy relationship where both sides are built up and the
relationship can grow. I am extremely grateful to Jim and Melissa for
lending us this  book to read. It brought up many questions for both
of us and helped us both to think about things that need to be thought
our carefully before we get married.
    It was so great to meet all the people that work at the Green
House-where Shuhrat first became a Christian-and to become friends
with some of the most influential people in Shuhrat's life. They are
all so wonderful. Putting faces to the stories that Shuhrat has told
me was lots of fun and enjoying their friendship and getting to know
them was defiantly a blessing. I am glad that they know me and have a
face and experiences of their own to put with the things that Shuhrat
has told them about me. I was blessed by their hospitality and
generosity especially the wonderful woman Betty with whom I stayed.
She had planned to have me for the original 10 days and without any
qualms offered me a place to stay for the second week I was there.
Everyone was very hospitable and kind and I am thankful for them.
    At this point in time Shuhrat and I are planning to meet in Brazil
this coming January. The director of his team in Afghanistan is from
Brazil and is planning on taking a few of the local workers with him
in January to speak and share at a mission's conference there. From
Brazil we don't know what will happen. We think it wise for me to go
to Afghanistan and stay there for a short time to see what the work is
like and how life is there. This is something that we'd like to happen
before next summer (2007) when Shuhrat's commitment/contract is up.
Summer 2007 is the earliest –that we can see- we will be able to get
married since I am graduating in December and his commitment is
through that following June. Like I said, there are a number of
factors that are going to influence where and when how etc.
   Guys…God is just so great! I am missing Shuhrat a lot and I feel
like this next stretch in time is going to be hard especially because
we have spent good concentrated time together now. But the Lord has
made some of this road we are on much more clearly to both us of now
and for this I am eternally thankful. I am asking for your continual
prayers for us as we walk with the Lord together. Shuhrat and I are
from different worlds. As in any relationship we have different ways
of approaching any given situation and the cultural differences
between us make good communication even more essential than if we
shared one world view. Our spiritual outlook on life is the same and
we strengthen and challenge one another in this area. We need your
prayers in this area and in all other areas of our relationship. I
want to thank you again for the time you have sacrificed in prayer for
Shuhrat and me already and encourage you to continue to lift us up
before the Lord.
     What will happen next? Well, I am finished with my Russian
program in 7 weeks time! That is right I am going to be returning to
the States on the 15th of May and arriving in New York on the 16th. I
will be spending the summer working…where I don't know…and working on
my senior project (which also needs prayer since I haven't decided
what I am going to do yet). I will have one more semester of school
left which I will complete this fall and graduate, tentatively, in
December unless Central thinks of some reason I need to stay there.
Then, I will be, God willing, going to Brazil for part of January and
from there I am not sure. All of this is in the hands of the Lord and
I trust Him to continue to direct me in the way I should go.
    Although I really didn't want to come back to Russia…I am glad to
be back. I am glad to know that there are people here with whom I have
relationship and can share God's love with. Life is such a ministry
when we are walking with the Lord and every person is so precious to
Him. I have been reading Mere Christianity by C.S. Lewis over the past
few weeks while I have been out of Russia. Reading the book has been
very helpful in understanding with words, rather than with my heart
and spirit, what Christianity looks like to other people and what it
is. I am encouraged by the book because many of the questions
addressed are questions friends here have talked with me about and I
have another resource to pull from now when I talk with them. Please
continue to pray for my roommates Erin and  Caitlyn as we finish up
this semester together. Living with them has been a great experience
and we have learned a lot about each other in this time. Our apartment
has been a place of continual fellowship with friends (minus alcohol
most of the time). God has opened up so many doors to share with the
people in my program and He continues to show me ways to share His
truth with the people in my life here. Please pray that I would be
obedient to Him immediately when He give me direction and instruction
and that I would have the boldness and courage in love and confidence
to love fiercely and give sacrificially all that He has given to me.
Pray that I would embrace His people in love selflessly and see them
as He sees them. Pray that these next 7 weeks will be full of
opportunity for me to share His gospel with my fellow students and
Profs. Pray for strength for me and good health. I don't  want the
change in temps (coming from spring in Bishkek into cold wet never
ending winter in Petersburg) to sicken me.
    I love you all and I am so thankful to all of you for loving me
and serving me in prayer and in financial support. There is so much
more to share with you but I haven't the energy to write it all out
here. I trust that you will ask lots of questions when come home…or
you can email me and ask and I will try and get back to you as soon as
I can.
   I pray the Lord's abundant grace and peace be upon you and your
families. I pray for rest and refreshment as you sleep each night. I
pray for Joy in Hope, Patience in your struggles and faithfulness in
Prayer. I love you God Bless you in Jesus Name for His glory and
honor.
   Blessings,
 GABBY APPLETON

  " But one who looks intently at the perfect law, the law of liberty,
and abides by it, not having become a forgetful hearer but an
effectual doer, this man shall be blessed in what he does." James 1:25
NASV
        God Bless you today!
            GABBY APPLETON