I went to a dinner party and I met a person who was in the movie Empire Records
and The Craft. We ate
lasagna and olives and drank red wine and told Helen Keller jokes. We have been talking on the phone for hours, and I
told her that I was going to write about meeting her on my website, but I said I wouldn't say her name. THESE ARE BEARS.
In the last week, I have made 211 paintings. Here are 93 of them. I am so glad to be alive right now that I wake up at 1pm every day.
I have lived with so many cats in my life. They were named TT & Ghost & Keatsie. This cat is called Shannon Perry.
#2 will be the best COMEDY BUMMER yet. I will tell the worst stories at this
and I will make up stories about people that I don't even know.
PRE-CATZ / PRE-PRE
CATZ. There is no way these things would be made if it wasn't for TABBR. We
went to the beach
the other night and I fell asleep on it for a second and had a dream that it was where I belonged forever. Then we went to
31 Flavors, but they only had 12 flavors.
Happy birthday Holly, Happy birthday Holly, Happy birthday Holly, Happy birthday Holly.
This LeBron James Bench is on eBay (for now).
Manute Bol was so tall that he could only drive station wagons, from which all of the seats had to be removed.
Today I took
a nap with a person named Allison. As we slept we watched a movie called Any
Which Way But Loose.
After napping for an hour, she woke up demanding that I buy her a ring. "You're talking in your sleep," I told her.
Yesterday I woke up at 11am and a person named Eileen came over. We made waffles with bacon in them. I didn't eat them because I'm on a seafood diet.
Caitie lives in that house and I am so happy about it.
I AM IN BIG TROUBLE ABOUT THIS, I just know it.
Georgie and I
came to the agreement that I will go to breakfast with her and I
will just not eat. I hate eating breakfast and I hate pancakes, but I love everything else in the world.
I went to a party
and this guy repeated over 100 times that this was his Shillelagh. I spent
the night catching a football and eating. It was the 4th of July!
George and I
were driving down North Avenue. We stopped at a red light and both noticed
on the phone smoking a cigar. "WHAT A JERK," we both said in tandem. Seconds later I was texting
while driving and I ran a stop sign.
THE 4TH OF JULY! This thing just caught on fire.
The 4th of July
is a wonderful holiday. I saw all of my best friends and everything was on
fire and there was so much stuff to eat. I brought rib tips from a restaurant and told
everybody that I had made them, but nobody believed me. Bill gave me two cases of
Izze soda. It's good, I am drinking it.
This is my last July 4th in Chicago. Next year I will either be in Seattle or Charleston.
TRVS IS A FEEDR.
I don't like this coffee shop and I never go into it.
There was a person yelling at me when I was taking this picture.
After good fireworks go off, everybody cheers as if you made them. "HOORAY," they shouted.
I finally ate
Lobster Thermidor! I have been waiting JUST FOREVER to eat Lobster Thermidor.
10, in my book, I will give it a 5.5. Caitie threw up twice, our server was called Patricia.
Caitie and I had the wooze. Later we watched 3 movies and ate gummi bears and Reisens.
On my texts, you are either sad or sun burned, or you are Britt Whitford or Parveen.
It is Caitie with a person on the street. "I look like a mom," she said.
This came to me in the mail, without a return address or note. Who has my life? ONLY ME. Today I ate sushi mountain for free.
I knew Jason Byers in college.