So I encounter this somewhat frequently, but it occurred to 
me that some of you may not have. According my estimates, 
approximately 99% OF ALL CHICAGOANS BELIEVE THAT IF 
YOU BURY THIS LITTLE FUCKING PLASTIC STATUE UPSIDE 
DOWN IN YOUR BACKYARD THEN YOUR HOUSE WILL SELL:



Note the hipster St. Joseph with moustache and stupid haircut. 
He was on his way to make his bike a fixie, before someone 
BURIED HIM UPSIDE DOWN IN A BACKYARD.


In other news, let's go to a water park soon. Who's in?